Constant

Emotions. Highly unlikely to be happiness. Sorrow fills up every single part of me. Its like a never ending story. The thought of having happiness in my life is close to nothing. Everything seems fine at first then it crashes. The waves in the ocean and I are alike. Currents flows deep but when it reaches the beach, its all gone and another wave builds up somewhere in the middle of the ocean and the routine repeats itself.

Happiness seems so far out of my reach and impossible for me to achieve. Maybe at a moment it'll seem all fine but next thing I know, I am back where I started. I fucked up big time in the past and I guess this is karma coming back to haunt me. My perspective of love has changed. Not for the better but now I am close to a non-believer. Its there yes, with family and friends but I refuse to accept it.

Optimism does not exist in my life. It used to. My view on it slowly dies. I am ready to bury it 6 feet down and never look back. Bury me with my sins. Bury me with my sorrows. The choices I've made mistakes in the past that has made me who I am but somehow its never enough for an individual to appreciate me.

Well I guess that's the only constant in my life.